7 Comments
User's avatar
J. Tullius's avatar

This is really good. I need to give it another read or two.

Expand full comment
James Hart's avatar

I felt the same. A lot packed into those four stanzas. I particularly liked "The act

of uncreating leaves a honey-gleam—

a spark dancing across a lion's back."

Expand full comment
Daniel Bishop's avatar

Thanks guys! Hopefully the train of thought is cohesive. With poetry especially, I tend to forget that not everyone is in my head and is following the same logic.

Expand full comment
Nik Hoffmann's avatar

"a spark dancing across a lion's back."

What a line!

Expand full comment
Daniel Bishop's avatar

Thank you, Nik!

Expand full comment
Michael Clarke's avatar

*lies

Expand full comment
Daniel Bishop's avatar

Tracing the verb back through the series, it would read, "An eastern gale will...lay them..." That sentence is not in present tense.

Edit: I see what you were actually referencing now. Good catch.

Expand full comment